A New Year Without Pressure: How to Set Intentions That Support Mental Health

The holiday season is often a blur of shared meals and warm lights, but this year, I noticed a recurring guest at every gathering: the Question. It didn’t matter who I was talking to; almost every conversation eventually turned toward the same starter: "So, what are your resolutions for 2026?"

Resolutions are often about fixing what we think is 'broken.' Intentions are about honoring who we already are. 

There is a polite weight to that question. It implies that the person we were in 2025 wasn’t quite enough and that January 1st is the mandatory start line for a race toward a "better" version of ourselves.

This morning, the 4th of January, I felt that pressure firsthand. I headed to the gym for my regular Sunday abs class, a ritual that usually feels grounding and quiet. But when I arrived, I couldn't even get in. The room was packed, the energy frantic, and the air was thick with the temporary determination of the "New Year, New Me" crowd.

As I walked back to my car, I couldn't help but think about how resolutions don't quite work. We’ve all seen the data: nearly 80% of resolutions are forgotten or abandoned by mid-February. We set grand goals in a burst of holiday adrenaline, only to realize that life — messy, busy, real life — doesn't always have room for a total overhaul.

The Shift from Fixing to Being

Standing outside that crowded gym, I realized that resolutions often feel like a contract we sign with our inner critic. They are rigid, outcome-based, and leave very little room for human error.

Intentions, however, feel different.

The room grew quiet in my mind as I reframed my own morning. I didn’t "fail" because I missed a class. My intention was to move my body and care for my mental health. I could do that with a walk, a stretch at home, or even just a moment of deep breathing.

Why Intentions Support Mental Health

Most of us grow up fluent in the language of achievement. Intentions feel like a language of grace. Here is why they work better for our well-being:

1. They focus on the process, not the finish line. A resolution says "I must lose 10 pounds." An intention says "I intend to nourish my body."

2. They are adaptable. Life happens. If you miss a day, a resolution feels "broken." An intention remains a compass you can return to at any moment.

3. They lower the volume of the inner critic. Intentions create space for self-compassion, allowing us to grow without the threat of failure hanging over our heads.

The Stories We Tell Ourselves in January

Sitting in my car, I thought about the crowd inside the gym. Many of them were there because they felt they should be, driven by a resolution made in the heat of a New Year's countdown. There is a specific kind of stress that comes from trying to "prove" your worth through a checklist of changes.

Sometimes our inner critic speaks so loudly in January that it becomes the only voice we hear. It tells us we are behind, that we are lazy if we don't have a five-step plan, or that our year is wasted if we don't start perfectly. But here’s the truth: your worth is not a project to be completed.

Our lives are stories, not spreadsheets.

Three Ways to Set Pressure Free Intentions

If the "Resolution Talk" is making you feel anxious, try these shifts instead:

• Identify a Feeling: Instead of a goal, ask: "How do I want to feel this year?" (For example: Grounded, curious, or rested).

• Use "I am" or "I intend": Phrases like "I intend to be kinder to my mind" are invitations, not ultimatums.

• Focus on Small Bids: Notice the small ways you are already doing well. Intentions are about expanding the good that is already there.

  
  

At first, this may feel unfamiliar. We’re taught to measure our value by our "output." Letting go of the pressure to perform for the New Year takes practice.

A Mindful Way Forward

As I drove home from the gym today, the roads were still quiet, even if the gym wasn't. I realized that the "New Year" doesn't have to be a loud transformation. It can be a soft shift in perspective.

Resolutions are about where you want to go. Intentions are about how you want to live while you are getting there.

The gym will eventually quiet down. The crowds will thin out by February. But your intention to care for yourself can stay steady, long after the resolutions have faded. This is the difference between a temporary sprint and a sustainable journey.

And maybe the first step toward a healthy 2026 isn't a new gym membership or a strict diet.

Maybe it's simply pausing long enough to ask:

"How can I be kind to myself today?"

@ihealandgrow